2021 DHL Week In Review - Week 5
Nov 21, 2021 19:44:12 GMT -5
Oslo Mastodon, St. Roch Hawks, and 6 more like this
Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Nov 21, 2021 19:44:12 GMT -5
DHL Week In Review - Week 5
Matchups:
Morweena (4-0-0) v. Castleford (0-3-1) - Morweena wins 9 - 3
Simi Valley (3-1-0) v. Tampa Bay (1-3-0) - Tied 6 - 6
Melbourne (1-3-0) v. St. Roch (2-2-0) - St. Roch wins 7.5 - 4.5
Nebraska (1-2-1) v. Vegas (1-3-0) - Nebraska wins 6.5 - 5.5
Oslo (3-1-0) v. Moscow (3-1-0) - Moscow wins 6.5 - 5.5
Haukiputaan (1-3-0) v. Portland (2-0-2) - Portland wins 8 - 4
Matchup of the Week: Oslo v. Moscow
Brought this up in the shoutbox last night - but man was this ever a great match that came right down to the wire. Heading into the 3rd period of the Saturday late games assists, STP and TOI were all tied which is bananas. Then when the dust settled, the Red Army won by a single assist and 11 seconds of ice-time (STP stayed tied at 10). It was quite the show so well done to you both.
Performance of the Week (skaters): Simi Valley Kings (19 goals, 26 assists, +4, 169 shots, 19 STP, 97 hits, 46 blocks, 20:18 TOI)
For another week, this wasn’t the most runaway winner, but consistency is key here for the Kings who were at least top 3 in most skater categories. Led by Draisaitl and Guentzel, Simi Valley unfortunately couldn’t leverage the week into a victory, but hopefully this runner up ribbon will help ease that wound a little bit.
Performance of the Week (goalies): St. Roch Hawks (3 wins, 1.79 GAA, 154 saves, .945 SV%, 1 “magnificent bastard” shoutout to Samsonov from management)
Despite not grabbing the most wins this week, the Hawks did manage to rattle off what I deemed to be the best week all around. It's always impressive to me when a goalie crew can be sub 2.00 and over .930 while compiling enough games to make over 100 saves. And it's about time the 25 NHL goalies on the St. Roch roster started putting up numbers worthy of this extremely pedestrian weekly award.
Player of the Week: Connor McDavid (3 goals, 4 assists, +2, 12 shots, 4 STP, 5 hits, 22:25 TOI, and another absolute vicious assault on a team’s players, soul, and will to continue in the National Hockey League).
What’s left to say that hasn’t already been said? Enough is enough, I’m going to bring the guy down a few pegs. I bet McDavid’s dog has bad breath. And not normal bad dog breath either. Like, extra bad dog breath. And I bet that instead of putting his recyclables into the correct bins, he puts some cans in with the regular trash sometimes. Also I bet he doesn’t have the upper body strength to deadlift a Mini Cooper. What a wimp.
3 Stars:
1) Leon Draisaitl (4 goals, 3 assists, -1, 14 shots, 5 STP, 2 hits, 2 blocks, 23:34 TOI)2)
2) Johnny Gaudreau (3 goals, 3 assists, +5, 22 shots, 2 STP, 1 hit, 16:22 TOI)
3) Jacob Markstrom (3 GP, 2 wins, 1.33 GAA, 102 saves, .962 SV%)
Other Notes:
Senators Shut Down - From the department of “it was about fucking time” the Senators had all games postponed this week due to their ongoing Covid outbreak. I’m sure everyone who has half an ear on the NHL knew they were dealing with 10+ guys on the Covid list and icing ⅔ of their AHL roster. While it sucks for anyone who relies on a Senator in their lineup (am I the only one?) I am glad that they finally shut the team down to try and get their shit together.
Double Mcdaddy - The mofo did it again. Went full McDavid and torched the Jets a la the Rangers from two weeks ago. I think that at this point he’s just trying to out-do himself.
Matchup Preview - I don’t normally do this - but let’s look ahead to next week when we have a battle of the two (technically) undefeated teams; Morweena & Portland. Will the (technically) undefeated Buckaroos be able to slow down the mighty Reimnoceri to hand them their first loss? Or will Morweena finally claim their rightful title as the 2021/22 DHL’s only undefeated team. All eyes (or at least four of 24 eyes) will be on this epic showdown. We all know who the Week In Review offices will be rooting for.
Ahmat's AhmStats - I have truly been really enjoying the weekly summary of category winners being put out by Haul this season (has a lot to do with who is prominently featured in them) and I just wanted to put it into writing. Nicely done, sir!
Morweena’s Mailbag:
Q: how are you doing?
A: ....
Q: Mr. Alex,
I am number one Buckaroos fan who is most happy today. After being awful last year the Buckaroos are undefeated this year! This better than sex (especially since I'm incarcerated)! Each week I watch Buckaroos and when they win I celebrate. This me:
Question is why do Buckaroos fans have nice things this year after dropping the soap in all past years?
Luke in Burkina Faso
A: Hi Luke, thanks for reaching out again...I think the Buckaroos have nice things this year because management finally went out and got it. They added huge free agents in Ovechkin and Vasilevskiy and they are giving Portland a newfound swagger and credibility they didn’t have in years past. Couple that with Seth Jones’ escape from the Blue straight Jacket of John Tortorella, Andrew Copp having an intensely hot start and an ensemble cast of characters who seem to be putting up all those other intangible numbers and we get a Portland team who is (technically) undefeated*.
*until the end of Week 6
Q: Alex,
Looking like seven teams are already in strong position to make the playoffs and five teams have already fallen behind. If you had to pick one team currently out of the playoffs who you think will make it which team would it be and who will they knock out of a playoff spot?
Tommy Boy
A: It is my belief that the Vegas Aces Wild will make the playoffs. If there is anything we have learned over the years of the Vegas “fire sales” is that the team will then turn it into high-gear and rocket up the standings causing Vegas management to heel turn and re-acquire the extra talent they traded off earlier than they should have using the assets that they got in that process.
As for who they will oust? I’m sorry to say, but I think that the Buffalo of Nebraska will finally be out of the post-season mix. I think that the play of Gibson and Andersen will temper and that there isn’t enough left to keep the team at .500.
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