2021 DHL Week In Review - Week 1
Oct 25, 2021 8:29:32 GMT -5
Moscow Red Army, St. Roch Hawks, and 7 more like this
Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Oct 25, 2021 8:29:32 GMT -5
DHL Week In Review - Week 1
Matchups:
Haukiputaan (0-0-0) v. Morweena (0-0-0) - Morweena wins 6.5 - 5.5
Castleford (0-0-0) v. Portland (0-0-0) - Tied 6 - 6
Moscow (0-0-0) v. Vegas (0-0-0) - Moscow wins 8 - 4
Nebraska (0-0-0) v. Oslo (0-0-0) - Nebraska wins 9.5 - 2.5
Simi Valley (0-0-0) v. Melbourne (0-0-0) - Simi Valley wins 9.5 - 2.5
St. Roch (0-0-0) v. Tampa Bay (0-0-0) - St. Roch wins 6.5 - 5.5
Matchup of the Week: Haukiputaan v. Morweena
I would apologize for picking my own matchup to start this season off...if it wasn’t clearly the best one (maybe biased). What made this one so special, other than the fact I won, was that it turned my attitude towards the weekly matchup schedule change. Full disclosure - I was not in favour of it. I am very set in my ways, and frankly I was worried that it would throw off my groove in my other fantasy leagues. But, man...it’s great. Bo Horvat capped off the night with 2 goals (tying the two teams at 29 - which by the way was a league high for match 1) to eke out a win over Ahmat. Just wonderful. I am now a believer in icing as full of a team as you would on any given night to finish the match. It was a great battle with some huge numbers being thrown around and truly came down to the last second to determine a winner.
Performance of the Week (skaters): Morweena Reimnoceri (29 goals, 45 assists, +16, 256 shots, 21 STP, 142 hits, 89 blocks, 19:02 TOI)
Go ahead - say it out loud. I am absolutely feeling myself this week. In the past I have really tried to avoid choosing my own team for these things so as to maintain the illusion of integrity, but new year - new me. I am the greatest there ever was, ever is, and ever will be*. DHL take note, there’s a new squad in town. Shout outs to Pierre-Luc Dubois (4G, 2A, 8 SOG, 5 hits, 6 blocks), Jesse Puljujarvi (2 goals, 6 assists, 11 SOG, 6 hits) and Victor Hedman (7A, 16 SOG, 10 hits, 11 blocks) for leading the way.
*for the first two weeks of the season.
Performance of the Week (goalies): Castleford Coyotes (6 wins, 2.38 GAA, 179 saves, .932 SV%)
I will be honest here - I did not expect the Coyotes tandem to be either good or successful, but here we are. Now, I don’t expect this to be a long-term thing, but out of the gate it’s very encouraging. Mikko Koskinen stepping seamlessly in to fill the shoes of the Wolf Man (Mike Smith) and (Winner-winner) Chicken Binner riding a hot start to the Blue season. I should also note that it was pointed out to me that these 6 wins came in the back half of the matchup, making these numbers all the more impressive. Well done to our newest manager.
Player of the Week: Connor McDavid (6 goals, 7 assists, +3, 21 shots, 7 STP, 2 hits, 1 block, 21:41)
Alright Connor...we get it. You are an above average hockey player. Let’s all take a hot minute and acknowledge how lucky we all are to be able to view this living legend shred the NHL. Honestly though, what do we think the odds are that McDaddy cracks 200 points? I think it happens.
3 Stars:
1) Sergei Bobrovsky (4 GP, 4 wins, 1.99 GAA, 129 saves, .942 SV%)
2) Alexander Ovechkin (5 goals, 5 assists, +5, 20 shots, 4 STP, 6 hits, 2 blocks, 20:20 TOI)
3) Frederik Andersen (4 GP, 4 wins, 1.75 GAA, 117 saves, .944 SV%)
Other Notes:
You Gotta Pay the Troll Toll: I’m sure most of you are at least aware of the Kotkaniemi offer sheet drama from the summer. But did we all catch the Hurricane’s social team double down and pour salt all over the wound that was the Montreal Canadiens’ start to the season? It was epic. The website (didthehabslose.com)*, the store promo code (code: “oui” for 20% off Kotkaniemi and Aho shirts), just pure gold. Now, in the previews I had given Big Red advice to do something similar after each of their 23 wins this season, so take notes.
*the site has since been taken down, but it was great.
The Dark Cloud over the Whitecloud over Vegas: What’s the deal with Vegas and Zach Whitecloud? This is like Ross and Rachel all over again. Will they? Won’t they? Nobody (Vegas included) knows and I’m absolutely here for the drama. Adam, I think when the spreadsheet gets updated (if it hasn’t been already) you should have each and every separate buyout of Whitecloud listed.
The Kraken Have Arrived: Did anyone watch the first game in the Krak Den? Looked stunning. Lot’s of Krak-heads in attendance. That’s all...just wanted to say that. They’re also a fun team to watch.
Mailbag Madness: As you will soon see, the mailbag got out of hand this week so enjoy it.
Morweena’s Mailbag:
Q: Why are Morweena and St. Roch the only teams that seemed to realize there are unlimited goalie moves this season? Both teams are loaded with NHL starting goalies but the other 10 teams only have two or three guys per team. What gives? Are the Reimnoceri and Hawks doing it right or is the rest of the league going to have the last (Getz)laugh?
A: Aside from the obvious answer of: they must value goalie stats and realize that goalies are voodoo so get as many as you can, I would say that they were fortunate enough to find themselves with capable EL goalies. However, like everything else in this beautiful league, I’d say it really comes down to how different each manager is. It’s truly fascinating. In terms of if they’re doing the right thing or not will really come down to injuries - if the Reimnoceri and Hawks run into goaltending injuries, they’re made in the shade, but if they have a string of hurt skaters, they may not have the depth that other teams enjoy. Time will tell.
Q: What is Nebraska thinking signing Ryan Getzlaf? Does he owe him a personal favor or something? What's a good season for Getzlaf look like this year - actually playing in 70 games or more? 30 points? I know Nebraska GM Tim likes guys that leave some gray hair on the bar of soap in the shower but still...Getzlaf?
A: It’s no secret, GM Tim’s philosophy on his team is to sign lots of guys for cheap and have plenty of veterans around. This fits that mold perfectly. Contrary to what 11/12 GMs were thinking, Getzlaf has gotten off to a halfway decent start to the year. Now, will this last? Probably not. I honestly don’t see him logging more than 55 games this year, but off the hop, he’s been exactly what I assume Nebraska was looking for.
Q: I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian because I realized that while I find people that have sex with animals to be disgusting if I was an animal I'd rather a human have sex with me than kill me and eat me. Therefore if I'm going to wag my finger at beastiality I have to do the same to the people who murder, behead, skin, disembowel, cook and eat animals. Thoughts?
A: …uhhh…
Q: Hey Alec, first time/long time...
I'm a Castleford fan and am wondering why new owner Stuart wasn't allowed to vote on the tiebreaker proposals. His vote could have changed the outcome of the decision and if the Saturday games were the tiebreaker the Coyotes would have won their first matchup! Now it's a tie, or a "sister kisser" as it's known around here and since my sister died 12 years ago on account of the rabies she contracted trying to train opossums that's a very disturbing image for me. Anyway, why wasn't Stuart allowed to vote and why are ties still a thing in this league?
Also, I know Bo Horvat is going to get a lot of praise for his clutch goal late on Saturday night to tie the goals category and give Morweena the win but let's not forget Josh Morrissey's contribution! Morrissey had four goals all of last season but had two this week! Without both of those two the Reimnoceri don't get the tie so with that - what's your favorite Morrissey song?
Finally, Melbourne didn't reach the minimum three goalie appearances in this matchup and it was a double week! How concerned should Bushranger fans be that the team doesn't have enough goaltending to compete and get back to the championship this season?
Thanks for all you do and loved seeing your guest appearance on the news. For what it's worth I think she looked 18 as well but then again her shirt clearly said "Kiss Me I'm 16", so...
Regina in Regina
A: Yikes...I was really hoping that would not make it here...but let me clear the air...if a shirt tells me to do something, I’m gonna do it. 16...18...93...it doesn’t matter. Do I regret it? Sure. Would I do it again? I mean...maybe? But to answer your questions…
I have no idea why Stuart wasn’t allowed to vote - if I had to guess I would say either because he was new to the league and couldn’t properly vote given all history and info other managers have to make an educated decision (not to imply that he couldn’t add great opinions) OR it was a weird form of extended punishment handed down from the NHL via the DHL Board of Governors dating back to the Arizona Coyotes prospect scandal.
Clearly whichever team Josh Morrissey came from (Simi Valley, I think) didn’t properly deploy him to truly utilize his skill set. Here in Morweena we believe in setting our players up for success and then reaping the benefits. Perhaps the Kings could take a few notes from Reimnoceri management moving forward if they would like to taste a little bit of success in this league.
Speaking of taking notes from Morweena, the Bushrangers should also jump on that train. Goaltending is such an important part of any fantasy team. A single position responsible for 4 stats should always be a priority and clearly they are not. Now, the year is young and the Bushrangers did run into a bunch of bad luck in their crease, so I don’t think it’s time to smash the panic button yet, but it certainly isn’t going to help their chances at success if they can’t get a couple of early wins.
And my favourite Morrissey song? Everyday Is Like Sunday (obviously).
Alright - that’s it for the mailbag this week. I hope you all...wait what...
Q: Mr. Alex,
I am number one Buckaroos fan who is most upset today. Last week that asshat Asbjørn Nygård wrote that Castleford Coyotes weren't starting goalies and were sure to lose. Then Coyotes guy wake up and start playing goalies. He go from no starts at all to six starts and six wins in six days! I never see anything like it. This me:
Question is why did asshat Asbjørn say that? Does he hate Portland? Is he betting on games like Evader Kane? What is actual going on and why can't Buckaroos fans have nice things?
Luke in Burkina Faso
P.S. - The shirt clearly said "Kiss Me I'm 16". What you thinking?!?"
A: Why would Asbjørn alert the DHL, and by proxy, the Coyotes to the lack of goaltenders being played? Who knows. I think it could have been journalistic integrity or perhaps just a subtle nudge to what was very likely an oversight by the GM - either way, as mentioned earlier, Castleford rebounded with a vengeance to not only get their starts, but take the goaltending performance of the week honours. Quite the miracle story from Week 1. And Luke...as previously mentioned...a shirt tells me to do something, I. Am. Going. To. Do. It. If you’ve got an issue with that then I suppose you also have an issue with the shirt my children got me that says #1 Farter. Do you think that’s you? Because it’s not Luke...it’s me. Punk.
Q: What player/contract signed this year do you most regret not getting? And which player that you wanted are you happiest that you didn’t get?
A: Love this question...and while I honestly haven’t gone around the league and checked in on all the new signings and how they are doing, I will offer this: I regret not pushing harder on Dylan Larkin. I had him and Dubois pegged as guys who would A) have comeback years and B) were young enough to invest in...so far I’d say I was correct on both counts.
A player I’m glad I missed out on - Artemi Panarin.I will say that it is very early in the NHL season and he’s signed to a 5 year deal - there is plenty of time for him to exceed his value, but at this moment in time, 4 points isn’t quite where I would have had him.
Special mention to Tyler Bertuzzi who I cut because I don’t respect his life choices and didn’t want to deal with that shit on my roster, but is really making me regret it.
I think that this would be a great question to revisit mid-season or at the end of the year. Really to see who hit and who missed.
Q: Why does Vegas keep dropping and picking up Whitecloud? What's wrong with him?
A: Where do I start...I think our everyone’s favourite GM out in Vegas may have partaken in a wee bit too much jazz cabbage throughout his formative years which is now manifesting itself in knee jerk fantasy hockey decisions. He’s easily spooked - one moment he sees Zach Whitecloud and thinks “oh...cloud...clouds are nice and puffy...mmm..puffy… *bong rip* yeah...gonna sign this guy...fukkkk.” Then the next moment he thinks, “wait, but clouds make rain...and what the fukkk is a Zach? That sounds bad - get this mamaluke outta here fella!” Rinse, repeat. It’s a vicious cycle really.
Or do you mean what’s wrong with Whitecloud? I think he’s got an LBI or some shit...I dunno…
DOES ANYBODY ELSE WANT TO ASK ANYTHING?! No…? Good.
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