Post by Asbjørn Nygård on Oct 11, 2021 16:10:31 GMT -5
HAWKS GO WITH GOALIE BY COMMITTEE
by Asbjørn Nygård
Hök Skrik Sports
October 11, 2021
With the start of the 2021-22 Dynasty Hockey League season just a day away the time has come for teams to put the sledgehammer and hard hats away. The roster rebuilds we saw in the last months and weeks are complete and Opening Night rosters are finally due.
For the Wuest Memorial Trophy favorite St. Roch Hawks that means a tough decision has to be made in net where the team has no less than six starting caliber goalies available. How will they use this unprecedented depth to maximize their fortunes in the crease? We talked with Hawks goalie coach Doug Soetaert to find out in the first edition of 'Djupdykning med Doug" (Look it up you xenophobes).
Nygård: "Doug, tack för att du tog dig tid att prata med mig."
Soetaert: "What?"
Nygård: "Sorry, I forget that you don't speak Swedish. I said thank you for taking the time to meet with me."
Soetaert: "You were literally waiting in my office when I got done with practice - scared the bejesus out of me, by the way. I'm not sure if I pissed myself on account of my waning bladder control issues or out of fear. How long have you been here, anyway? How'd you know I'd be in here today? I didn't even know I'd be in here today. I only came in here to eat this bean and cheese burrito that Auston Matthews' MILF brought by the rink because of my lactose intolerance and the fact that this thing is going to give me hellacious flatulence within 20 minutes so...if you want to talk you'd better get to talking because this is happening."
Nygård: "Yes, well...I'm here with HSS to interview you about the Hawks goalie situation this season. What can you tell me about the Hawks plans for their six goalies this year?"
Soetaert: "I was surprised we ended up with six. When the summer started - oh, excuse me, this is hitting me faster than usual. When the summer started we had Ilya (Samsonov) and Thatch(er Demko) and I thought we were in a good spot. Then Riser (Hawks GM Doug Risebrough) told me we were trading to get Matt Murray. I figured that would be that but then once free agency started we went out and got Jaro(slav Halak), V(itek Vanecek) and Smitty (Mike Smith). Once we got all six guys I told my wife, 'There's a lot to do this year! I can't do this the way I did in the past - there's a lot riding on me this season. I'm going to need to be sober this season! I'm going to the rink - get rid of all the booze in the house before I get back.' Well, when I came home that night I found her unconscious in the living room surrounded by bottles of booze. She had apparently attempted to get rid of them by drinking them all...she never did like to waste. She died of alcohol poisoning."
Nygård: "Sorry to hear that. So, once you had all six goalies..."
Soetaert: "Alcohol killed her. The very thing that was killing me ended up killing her. She died trying to keep me from killing myself...Oh God, Mabel! What did I do?!? Why didn't you just pour it all down the drain you stupid, wonderful woman?"
(10 minutes of sobbing and flatulence)
Nygård: "So, once you had all six goalies what was the plan to manage their time this season?"
Soetaert: "Well, we knew it would be tough to get all six guys in the lineup on a regular basis but we told them there are certain games they are guaranteed to play in. If they're playing the Ducks, Red Wings, Coyotes or Sabres...they'll be in the lineup that night. That's 41 games right there. Beyond that we'll pick and choose our spots based on who is playing well, whether the team they are playing against is playing well and what the matchup dictates."
Nygård: "You can only have two goalies on the roster at the time, what will the other four guys be doing to stay sharp?"
Soetaert: "Two of them will be in the AHL with the Finnish Flash, two of them will be in the ECHL with the Stockholm Syndrome. Thanks to the DHL owners agreeing to allow unlimited goalie roster moves this season we'll be able to move them up and down all year long as many times as we'd like. When it's all said and done - whoa, that one felt like it was more liquid than gas, we may need to end it there."
Nygård: "Yes, I have enough for my article. Thank you for your time. Again, my condolences on your wife and for the love of God please see a doctor."
-30-
Hök Skrik Sports
October 11, 2021
With the start of the 2021-22 Dynasty Hockey League season just a day away the time has come for teams to put the sledgehammer and hard hats away. The roster rebuilds we saw in the last months and weeks are complete and Opening Night rosters are finally due.
For the Wuest Memorial Trophy favorite St. Roch Hawks that means a tough decision has to be made in net where the team has no less than six starting caliber goalies available. How will they use this unprecedented depth to maximize their fortunes in the crease? We talked with Hawks goalie coach Doug Soetaert to find out in the first edition of 'Djupdykning med Doug" (Look it up you xenophobes).
Nygård: "Doug, tack för att du tog dig tid att prata med mig."
Soetaert: "What?"
Nygård: "Sorry, I forget that you don't speak Swedish. I said thank you for taking the time to meet with me."
Soetaert: "You were literally waiting in my office when I got done with practice - scared the bejesus out of me, by the way. I'm not sure if I pissed myself on account of my waning bladder control issues or out of fear. How long have you been here, anyway? How'd you know I'd be in here today? I didn't even know I'd be in here today. I only came in here to eat this bean and cheese burrito that Auston Matthews' MILF brought by the rink because of my lactose intolerance and the fact that this thing is going to give me hellacious flatulence within 20 minutes so...if you want to talk you'd better get to talking because this is happening."
Nygård: "Yes, well...I'm here with HSS to interview you about the Hawks goalie situation this season. What can you tell me about the Hawks plans for their six goalies this year?"
Soetaert: "I was surprised we ended up with six. When the summer started - oh, excuse me, this is hitting me faster than usual. When the summer started we had Ilya (Samsonov) and Thatch(er Demko) and I thought we were in a good spot. Then Riser (Hawks GM Doug Risebrough) told me we were trading to get Matt Murray. I figured that would be that but then once free agency started we went out and got Jaro(slav Halak), V(itek Vanecek) and Smitty (Mike Smith). Once we got all six guys I told my wife, 'There's a lot to do this year! I can't do this the way I did in the past - there's a lot riding on me this season. I'm going to need to be sober this season! I'm going to the rink - get rid of all the booze in the house before I get back.' Well, when I came home that night I found her unconscious in the living room surrounded by bottles of booze. She had apparently attempted to get rid of them by drinking them all...she never did like to waste. She died of alcohol poisoning."
Nygård: "Sorry to hear that. So, once you had all six goalies..."
Soetaert: "Alcohol killed her. The very thing that was killing me ended up killing her. She died trying to keep me from killing myself...Oh God, Mabel! What did I do?!? Why didn't you just pour it all down the drain you stupid, wonderful woman?"
(10 minutes of sobbing and flatulence)
Nygård: "So, once you had all six goalies what was the plan to manage their time this season?"
Soetaert: "Well, we knew it would be tough to get all six guys in the lineup on a regular basis but we told them there are certain games they are guaranteed to play in. If they're playing the Ducks, Red Wings, Coyotes or Sabres...they'll be in the lineup that night. That's 41 games right there. Beyond that we'll pick and choose our spots based on who is playing well, whether the team they are playing against is playing well and what the matchup dictates."
Nygård: "You can only have two goalies on the roster at the time, what will the other four guys be doing to stay sharp?"
Soetaert: "Two of them will be in the AHL with the Finnish Flash, two of them will be in the ECHL with the Stockholm Syndrome. Thanks to the DHL owners agreeing to allow unlimited goalie roster moves this season we'll be able to move them up and down all year long as many times as we'd like. When it's all said and done - whoa, that one felt like it was more liquid than gas, we may need to end it there."
Nygård: "Yes, I have enough for my article. Thank you for your time. Again, my condolences on your wife and for the love of God please see a doctor."
-30-