Post by Moscow Red Army on Oct 6, 2015 22:03:49 GMT -5
***OFFICIAL STATE ADDRESS, MINISTRY OF SPORT***
Moscow Red Army proud to announce Russia's favourite have new home to call place. Titled the "FAKTORY URALVAGONZAVOD KOLISEUM", the new facility was built entirely with public funding, at small cost of roughly $442,000,000 rubles ($700 million USD), and is pictured below:
Russian Faktory Uralvagonzavod is namesake sponsor of arena, supplying much of the building material, to make possible. Established in 1936, Faktory Uralvagonzavod made legacy on construction of great Soviet tanks used to defend glorious motherland from Hun invasion of World War II, and still manufacture wars today. FUN FACT: A Faktory Uralvagonzavod tank was specifically responsible for killing capitalist pig Hitler. Shot him right in mouth as he was on phone with President Truman, about to buying America! Great act is commemorated in front of arena with tank on display, giving arena fun nickname of "The Tank"!
The statement-of-the-art facility will set new standard for what a Dynasty Hockey League team should aspire to be. The fan-experience to be offered will inspire envy in every other city in the DHL. Fans will no longer have to sit 2 person per chair, and fence will now surround ice court to keep pucks from audience. On top of this, fans will now have options in bathroom; 20% of toilets will have doors on them (most will open), and sinks will offer both cold AND frigid temperatured water. Late in 2015, facilities are also expecting to offered food for sales, offering fan favourites munchies like "Wet Flour Balls" and "Hay in Can".
Moscow Red Army team will begin play at home in the F.U.K. Tank vs Oslo Mastodon on October 7th. TICKETS MANDATORY.