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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 8, 2021 10:22:58 GMT -5
Hello all! Welcome to another year in the DHL. Much like last season, this season will be a year like no other in the NHL...wait...uh...yeah, so this year is going to be weird. Shortened season, new divisions, it’s going to be great. Or awful. Who really knows anymore...BUT, it will be hockey. Before we get into the nitty gritty of season previews, I would like to give a warm welcome to our newest manager Michael who took over the Penzance Pirates and swiftly moved the team down south to Tampa to get in on that Bubble Cup energy. I am genuinely concerned about this team now that there is a (hopefully) active manager. No pressure Mikey. (Can I call you Mikey?) Now, to business. The season previews will be pretty standard - though I’m going to skip the “last season” part since we’re going to be wrapping up last season simultaneously with the start of this season. I would also like to put everyone’s minds at ease and say that yes, I will be bringing back the Week in Review - however, based on the fact that heading into Week 1 I will have my oldest doing school at home (until the end of the month for now) things could potentially get dicey. Mikey-Fresh, if you’re wondering what the Week in Review is, you can either check in the archives or just wait in anticipation. (Is Mikey-Fresh cool?) Also, shoutout to Nebraska GM Tim for adding his two cents with the Zdeno Chara award and sharing what Disney movie each team would be. Always fun to have fun. Fun is fun. Isn’t it Milhouse? I’ll be adding a few teams each day leading up to the season kickoff so be sure to check back everyday, since we can all agree that there is literally nothing else more important going on than a fantasy hockey league...I kid...but I hope to take your mind off of the terrible world for a few minutes. Enjoy!
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 8, 2021 10:26:04 GMT -5
Haukiputaan Ahmat FA Additions: Zach Hyman, Robby Fabbri, Corey Crawford Draft Additions: Anton Lundell, Rodin Amirov, Roby Jarventie, Joel Kivirtanta, Jamie Drysdale, Shakir Mukhamadullin, Yaroslav Askarov I’m not going to pretend I’m some sort of prospect expert, but having watching *some* of the World Juniors this year, I recognize most of those names and therefore assume that they are very good. The FA additions were sparse, but my irrational love for Zach Hyman has me declaring that the Ahmat have won the 2020/21 free agency period. Why Haukiputaan will be the champs: Haukiputaan has alway been in the mix and there is very little reason to believe that this year will be any different. Sami seems to have some sort of Finnish crystal ball which allows him to see the future and succeed in the DHL making it impossible to bet against him. That and his D-Core is next level great. Why you might want Haukiputaan’s first round pick: Holtby, Subban and Crawford aren’t exactly a power-house trio of goalies anymore. With the two wiley vets likely taking lesser roles on their new teams and Subban playing behind a Hawks squad in transition this could really hurt the Ahmat in a shortened season playing the same 6 or 7 teams over and over. Player I love: Sebastian Aho - I think that the Hurricanes are a fun team. I love their energy and their style of play. I think Rod the Bod has that team whipped into shape and Aho is part of the young core of studs. Player I hate: Corey Crawford - I was hard pressed to find a guy I hated, but I’m going to be mean and pick on the old guy here because he might potentially take playing time away from Blackwood and that negatively affects me. Plus he’s so old. Ew. Hot Take:Despite shaky goaltending on paper, Haukiputaan’s netminders get hot. Really hot. This propels him to the top of the division. Zdeno Chara Award: Keith Yandle is the oldest skater on this team at 34, but somehow Corey Crawford has turned 36. Wasn’t he just playing goal for the Chicago Wolves a few seasons ago? If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Frozen
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 8, 2021 10:34:33 GMT -5
Melbourne BushrangersFA Additions: Neal Pionk, Ben Chiarot, Johnny Gaudreau, Filip Forsberg, Phillip Danault, Alex Iafollo, Draft Additions: Quiton Byfield, Lucas Raymond, Boy howdy did Pionk ever get PAID! For Daniel’s sake I hope that works out, but in either case, based on last season, great addition. I also love the Chiarot addition here. Two solid adds. The forwards Melbourne added are pretty good buy-low guys - I think that there’s always the chance they shake off last year’s poor performances. I am also aware of the prospects above. You guys are good at drafting…. Why Melbourne will be the champs: Melbourne is a solid group. They’ve got talent in all positions and the kind of depth that allows for that talent to have an off week here and there without derailing your matchup. If Hall clicks with Eichel in Buffalo this season, that alone will be terrifying but add Connor, Svechnikov and Kadri into that mix and you’ve got a lethal mix of snipers coming at you weekly. Why you might want Melbourne’s first round pick: There isn’t any depth in the crease. Vasilevsky is great, but Rinne has been very worrisome the last two seasons. When he’s great, he’s great, but he hasn’t been and that’s an issue (such wisdom there, I know). Another thing to think about with the lack of depth is obviously the Covid factor. If a team’s week gets derailed or worse, either of them comes down with Covid just flush that week (possibly more) goodbye. Player I love: Ben Chiarot - I think this guy is going to be a steal at $8 this season, let alone the next two. He had a monster year for Montreal last season and there’s no reason to think he does anything less in 2021. If he somehow adds a touch of offence, watch out. Player I hate: Viktor Arvidsson - After starting his career off on the right track, injuries have really taken this guy from a stud to a dud. Nashville always seems to be some weird enigma of a team that does really well in the standings but doesn’t have a single player with more than 30 points (obviously exaggerated for effect). So, that coupled with injuries make VA my whipping boy in the outback. Hot Take:Melbourne’s glass house of goaltenders doesn’t get hit by a single rock and they flex all over the league sending the Bushrangers right into the final only to be defeated by….well, we’ll see! Zdeno Chara Award: Pekka Rinne is 38! That’s super old! That’s… still slightly younger than me. What am I doing with my life? If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Rescuers Down Under
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 8, 2021 10:36:28 GMT -5
Minnesota 5 HolesFA Additions: Tomas Tatar, David Rittich Draft Additions: Hendrix Lapierre, Marco Rossi, Connor Zary, Alexis Lafreniere, Jake Sanderson It was a modest year in terms of volume of additions for Minnesota, but the talent level in the draft seems high. Aside from the Rangers stud acquisition, it’s unclear exactly when the rest of the crew will make the jump to the NHL, but whenever it is, the 5 Holes should consider changing their name to the 5 studs. FA additions are m’eh. I think Rittich was a flash in the pan and who knows if Tatar will go off again like last year. But you can’t win ‘em all. Why Minnesota will be the champs: This lovable group of rag-tag misfits will band together Keanu Reeves style in the replacements and sing and dance their way to glory. Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough to keep them from whoopin’ you each week. Also, Dubnyk is in San Jose now (?!), so that could be interesting. Why you might want Minnesota’s first round pick: Kinda like what I said above except instead of everything going well, it goes more like how you might think a rag-tag group of misfits playing would go. There are some very bright spots on this roster, but I think that there is just too much scar tissue from the past lingering around (Skinner, Voracek, Doughty) for the real 5 Hole’s to shine yet. The team is close, but I think there is another year left of pain. Player I love: Oskar Lindblom - Not just because of what a feel good story the kid was last season (well kind of because of that) but because of the potential of what he can bring. This team is full of upcoming talent and Oskar is a guy who is on the cusp. Plus his name is fun to say. Lindblommmm. Player I hate: Clayon Keller - I want this kid to do well so badly (I assume so does Paul 2) but man is he just getting the raw end of the cactus. Fortunately he’s only on an EL deal so there isn’t much risk in holding onto him for $5 this season, but if he continues to be a dud then I’ll have to call this guy a bust. Linddddbloooooooommmm. Hot Take:Doughty has a revenge season, Dubnyk wins the starting job from Jones (shouldn’t be hard) and the Sharks are good again and all that future talent shows up with a vengeance. The team is great but still decides to sing the song anyways since they already paid for the rights. Also, Paul 2 launches an attack on Paul in an effort to have the ‘2’ removed from his name and force Paul to be referred to as Paul 3. Zdeno Chara Award: Devan Dubnyk at 34 is technically the oldest player on this team, but I feel like broken-down-James-Neal’s-33 is really more like a 39. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…The Black Cauldron
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 9, 2021 10:49:23 GMT -5
Morweena Reimnoceri FA Additions: Bo Horvat, Pavel Buchnevich, David Krejci, Petr Mrazek, Paul Stastny, Noel Accairi, Ryan Reaves, Brandon Tanev, Justin Holl, Zdeno Chara, Anthony Duclair Draft Additions: Morgan Geekie, Tyler Madden, Jack Quinn, Mikko Lehtonen, Jack Rathbone, Jeremy Swayman So...Morweena really took the ‘throw a bunch of shit at the wall and see what sticks’ approach here. What will stick? Who knows. But I can tell you that I have heard from a very reliable source that the Reimnoceri are very excited to have signed Horvat and Mrazek. They think that they will be good talent for a good price while navigating a somewhat transitional year. Why Morweena will be the champs: There is enough talent on this roster still to compete every week however I believe that there are other teams which are definitely better. That said, in a weird season with a condensed schedule, you don’t need to be as good for as long. Why you might want Morweena’s first round pick: Well, we should really ask Portland - are you excited for Morweena’s 1st rounder? Personally, I wouldn’t be as the team seems to have made a real effort to not finish in the basement of the league. Player I love: Brady Tkachuk - There doesn’t need to be much explanation as to why I love this kid. He’s mean, he scores, and he’s part of a young Senators which is going to terrorize the east for years. If he continues to trend the way he has in his first two years then he’s going to be a real treat for the Reimnoceri. Player I hate: Matt Duchene - This guy was so excited to move to Nashville that I think he forgot that his job is to play hockey and not guitar. Matty boy seems to have fallen off a cliff and at $10 for this year and next it’s a gross overpayment. Hot Take:Morweena stops making trades, runs with his team as it stands on opening night, and falls flat on their metaphorical face. There is a longstanding run of being a competitive team on the line here for Morweena and this might be the year that it ends. Aside from that last time they were bad and landed the #1 overall pick then blew it by taking Hischier, trading him, and re-acquiring him in a deal where he moved on from the reigning Vezina winner. What a dummy. Zdeno Chara Award: I feel bad for Paul Stastny, who at 35 will spend his winter in Winnipeg where it gets so cold that celsius and fahrenheit become the same number… Wait, this team actually signed Zdeno Chara? He still plays hockey? Why isn’t he on the Nebraska Buffalo??? If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Aladdin
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 9, 2021 10:51:08 GMT -5
Moscow Red ArmyFA Additions: Brad Marchand, Taylor Hall, Andrew Mangiapanie, Tyler Toffoli, Brent Burns, Damon Severson, Mikko Koskinen Draft Additions: Philip Tomasino, Nicholas Robertson, Jonatan Berggren, Seth Jarvis, Kirill Marchenko, Dawson Mercer, Scott Perunovich, Lucas Dostal Those FA signings are, as the kids say, straight fire. Marchand, Burns and Hall should be bangers, Toffoli could be low-key great, and the other three could be blessed, but if not - it’s still Gucci. For what Big Red has deemed will be a ‘down year’, there really is a fair bit of talent added to this roster both immediately and in the future. Why Moscow will be the champs: This is tough - Moscow is starting off the year heavily handicapped by injuries already and he shipped some players out as well in an effort to be better later, but you can never count this craft GM out of anything. So - with that in mind - that is why Moscow will win. Oh, also the fact that they still have Matthews, Pettersson, Marchand, Konecny, Marner, and Hart as a core roster. Why you might want Moscow’s first round pick: Kucherov, Seguin, and Toews are all out long-term, if not the entire season and maybe that will off-set their ridiculously star studded group. But, maybe the Red Army will move out more pieces early - really lean into the rebuild. Who knows what goes on behind the iron curtain. Player I love: Taylor Hall - I love this player because he’s got the potential to go full Jeff Skinner with Jack Eichel this season, and if for some reason he doesn’t we get to play the hype game all over again next year. It’s exciting. But really I see things going well. Player I hate: Tyler Seguin - He’s waaaay overpaid and not even playing this year. That said, this isn’t anything to do with the Moscow organization as, if I’m not mistaken, he was acquired this past off-season via a much larger trade. But hey, I gotta pick someone...it’s the rules (which I made up). Hot Take:This ‘down year’ at the Moscow management has proclaimed, will not go to plan. His team is just too good still. So, as per usual, the Red Army will cruise into a top 4 spot in the league and probably win a round or two. Must be nice to have a team akin to the 00’s Red Wings. Zdeno Chara Award: Brent Burns is 35 and poised to not-rebound from a campaign where his age started to finally show. Burns was a minus 22 last year. Wow. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Anastasia - look, Disney owns it, it’s Russian, this was low hanging fruit
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 9, 2021 10:53:12 GMT -5
Nebraska BuffaloFA Additions: Logan Couture, Duncan Keith, Tomas Hertl, Alex Goligoski, Eric Staal, John Gibson, Vincent Trochek, Zach Parise, Tanner Pearson, Dustin Brown, Patric Hornqvist, Erik Johnson, Josh Manson Draft Additions: Haha...right...why even have this category here? I mean it’s not like Nebraska ever has any dra-...wait what?! Oh… Mikhail Berden (?!) In true Buffalo fashion - the FA additions are vast. Littered with the old standby names from around the league. The PB&J of the FA class, if you will. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Well all know Nebraska is the model of consistency in the league so I won’t bother saying anything negative about the off-season additions...except drafting an EL player...what up with that?! Why Nebraska will be the champs: As previously mentioned, the Buffalo are always in the mix and this year should be no different. Adding John Gibson should really make things in the goaltending categories a little nicer on the eyes however if Martin Jones of last year shows up again, that might be for not. My money is on the Sharks as a whole being better and by proxy Jones being passable. Why you might want Nebraska’s first round pick: Because he will trade it. Always. Every time. The lucky recipient in 2021? Vegas. In all honesty though, it’ll be a bottom 6 pick so it’s really not a must have any year. That said, the FA class this year wasn’t exactly the deepest it has ever been and being that the Buffalo generally rely on player turnover for success, I’m more worried than I have been in a while about Nebraska Player I love: Shea Weber - This guy defies the clock. After battling through injuries the last few years the world got a glimpse of Playoff Shea in the bubble this past summer. Playoff Shea is a vicious monster that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and now that he’s going to be only playing that same 6 teams all season, combined with the fact that Canadian rivalries are already pretty nuts, I think Playoff Shea is here to stay...all day... Player I hate: Ryan Getzlaf - Much like Seguin in Moscow, I am aware that this contract wasn’t the doing of Nebraska - however - $30 for Getzlaf is bad. $3 for Getzlaf is bad. Getzlaf is bad. Gosh I hate him. So old and bad... Hot Take:Nebraska’s lack of centre and goaltending depth dig them too deep of a hole to climb out of and the miraculous run of relevance comes to an end in a year that’s already weird. That 1st round pick Vegas owns becomes a hot lottery choice and Nebraska ends up adding four to 5 more draft picks for next season’s draft. Zdeno Chara Award: Minnesota’s oldest player is 34 (Olso’s is 32!), but in true Nebraska fashion, this team has 14 (!!!) players 34 and older. This is team old. Duncan Keith’s July birthday 1983 birthday narrowly edges Mark Giordano’s October ‘83 to make him the oldest player at 37 years young. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Steamboat Willie
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 10, 2021 10:08:33 GMT -5
Oslo MastodonFA Additions: Evgeny Kuznetsov, Ryan Strome, Anders Lee, Mark Stone, John Klingberg, Erik Gustafsson, Alex Killorn Draft Additions: Sam Poulin Looking at this FA haul now I find myself wondering what the hell I was doing while the frenzy was going on. How do you sign Strome and Kuznetzov for a combined $12 for 3 years? Yikes, way to go guys. We blew it. All of the FA additions will go a long way complementing Oslo’s already strong team. Why Oslo will be the champs: The rich definitely got richer this year. The Mastodon definitely hit the gym in the off-season and are coming back with a vengeance. After battling with the Red Army from hell all last season only to have it cut short, I predict that Oslo will finish the business that they weren’t able to last year. That said, there is a high potential that Oslo gets crowned last year’s king while simultaneously going 11-0 this year. Why you might want Oslo’s first round pick: If you love picking 12th then this is the pick for you. Otherwise, keep moving. Player I love: Evgeny Kuznetsov - $6 for this guy is a steal. With the Caps going all in my only concern about him is that he can be VERY streaky. But let’s say that he does his normal thing - Kuz is going to possibly be the steal of this season’s FA period. Player I hate: Matt Dumba - I think this guy had all the potential to be amazing but whether it’s his team’s lack of being good or him not fulfilling his projections, Dumba just hasn’t panned out as the kind of player I thought he was going to be. Again, in a year that’s going to be a sprint to the finish we may see some weird stuff happen to players’ stat lines, I have no expectations for Dumba. Hot Take:The Mastodon brass goes off the deep end and decides that if he can’t compete with the best Moscow has to offer then he will not compete. Because of this he will accept any and all trade requests no matter how bad and send his team into a spiral of mediocrity for years. It will also come out that GM Ross is actually fluent in Mandarin. Irrelevant to anything to do with this league, but shocking nonetheless. Zdeno Chara Award: Sergei Bobrovsky is 32, but only 2 months older than Patrick Kane. Who signed Bob to that huge contract? If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…The Lion King
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 10, 2021 10:11:06 GMT -5
Portland BuckaroosFA Additions: Brock Nelson Draft Additions: Adam Beckman, Nolan Foote, Lukas Reichel, Alexander Hotlz, Calen Addison, Kaiden Guhle, John Marino, Dustin Wolf I am genuinely surprised that the only FA addition for Portland was Brock Nelson. Does Jason know something that we don’t? Did Nelson add a clause to the deal that he was the only FA signing Portland could make? Time will tell I guess. The draft class isn’t full of names I recognize, so I won’t say much about it other than the fact that I wanted to draft Wolf and I’m still very bitter about it. But Jason is very aware of that. Why Portland will be the champs: The duo of Rask and Price is very, very good. And then ol’ wild card Matt Murray waiting in the wings will at least give the Bucks a warm body should one of these workhorses go down. This will go a long way in making Portland a tough matchup every week. When you don’t have to worry about goalies, I find that it makes fantasy life much, much easier. Why you might want Portland’s first round pick: While goaltending depth is great, the forwards leave you wanting more. Well, maybe not you...unless you are Jason...then you might be wanting more...but if you aren’t Jason you’re probably thinking: “yeah this is fine.” Know what I mean? Aside from Tarasenko the best forward is arguably Quinn Hughes. And he’s a defenceman...I think there is work to be done here. Player I love: Quinn Hughes - Love this kid. Love him so much. He’s so much fun to watch and just produces. I seriously hope he breaks 100 points one day. I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility once Boeser and Pettersson round into their final form. Player I hate: Ryan Johansen - Boy was this guy a bust in just about every sense of the word. Dude had that one great playoff series before wrecking his leg but otherwise I just think that the hype train went too fast for this guy to hold on. At least he’s only locked up for another year. Hot Take:Portland’s forwards come party and the Buckaroos swashbuckle their way across the seas of the league and onto the legendary desert island that is the DHL playoffs. Once there, Rask and Price steal the show and collective hearts of the nation while making an unprecedented run to the final. That’s right, haters...PORTLAND’S HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP! Zdeno Chara Award: Only one skater is as old as 30 (Jordan Eberle, who I still think of as a star from the World Jr Tournament), but both Carey Price and Tuuka Rask are 33, though Tuuka’s nearly a half year older. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Treasure Planet
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 10, 2021 10:13:30 GMT -5
Simi Valley KingsFA Additions: Jonathan Marchessault, Rasmus Ristolainen, Connor Murphy, Robin Lehner, Alec Martinez Draft Additions: Mavrik Bourque, Ty Dellandrea, Connor McMichael, Nils, Lundkvist, Justus Annunen I don’t think it's any secret that Simi Valley was after a goalie this off-season and I am of the belief that they got a good one in Lehner. Add Marchessault and Ristolainen into the fold and that’s a pretty good haul. Now, I wouldn’t say that these guys are locks, what with Ristolainen always getting hated on, Marchessault swirling in trade rumours and Lehner stomping on the dreams of the most lovable goalie (if not player) in the NHL - but hey, get your Paul. Good haul. That’s all. Rhyming is fun. Why Simi Valley will be the champs: There wasn’t a ton of turnover from last year’s team which enjoyed a very successful season. Adding those pieces I mentioned above will almost certainly help things out too. The Kings are a perennial contender and until things go really sideways I wouldn’t bet against them. Why you might want Simi Valley’s first round pick: This team is as consistent as they are talented. The only way this team is in the cellar is if they get hit hard with the injury bug - or that other bug floating around the world right now. I have already mentioned it once, so I will not name it again. I’d rather bring up Voldermort. Player I love: Alexander Ovechkin - No particular reason. Other than he scores at will, shoots like a maw-fuk, hits like a truck, and shows no signs of slowing down. Even at $58 Ovi seems underpaid for what he brings to the table. But don’t take it from me, listen to these satisfied customers. … … Well there you have it! Player I hate: Justin Faulk - Maybe I just paid too much attention to the Canadian media hype-train that pumped Faulk’s tires so full that he was almost floating, but man has this guy been a dud. I figured that once he got out of the truck fire that was Faulk-era Carolina that he would flourish into some perennial All-Star, especially on St. Louis, but nah. He was bad. Very bad. I feel for Simi Valley here. Hot Take:The Kings are going to win. The Kings are the best team in this league by leaps and bounds. Everyone should have their sights set on trying to finish in 2nd place or below because the Kings have basically locked up the top spot in the league. The Kings are so good that if Jesus himself played hockey, he wouldn’t even make this team.* *Yes, I learned my lesson from last year. Zdeno Chara Award: At 35, Alex Ovechkin is actually a few months older than Roman Cervenka. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…The Sword in the Stone
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 11, 2021 9:43:20 GMT -5
St. Roch HawksFA Additions: Evgenii Dadonov, David Perron, David Savard, Kevin Shattenkirk, Kevin Hayes, Chris Tanev, Cam Talbot Draft Additions: Brendan Brisson, Josh Norris, Samuel Fagemo, Alex Formenton, Dylan Holloway, Tim Stutzle, Kevin Bahl, Thomas Harley The future is bright for the Hawks after all their draft additions, led of course by everyone’s favourite German (all due respect to Marcel Goc), however, the FA additions look like St. Roch went dumpster diving for scraps. Focusing mostly on guys names Kevin and David, there isn’t much guaranteed here in terms of adding talent to the roster, however, if the Hawks hit on guys like Talbot, Dadonov, Perron and Hayes, I may be eating my words. Why St. Roch will be the champs: Already stocked with a platoon of the NHL’s most hyped youth, the Hawks could go from zero to hero at any moment. If this happens to be that moment, watch out. Guys like Dubois, J. Hughes, Girard, Demko, Fox, and Samsonov are all poised to be the new wave of NHL stars and as I said, if (when) they decide to put it all together St. Roch will rock. Why you might want St. Roch’s first round pick: Basically the exact opposite reason of why they will win. The youngsters just aren’t there yet. They need more time in the oven, more seasoning, to grow some more facial hair. Add some muscle. However you want to say it - if the youth doesn’t lead the charge, the two boys from the East Coast will not save the Hawks. Player I love: David Perron - After the year Perron had last year, it’s hard to bet against him repeating that. And if not repeating, at least doing something similar. That said, I worry if he will have the same role with Hoffman added and Tarasenko showing up again at some point. Either way, love this guy. Player I hate: Alex Edler - Not only has his play fallen off the side of a cliff, but with all the recent additions to the Canucks his role has just been decimated. The upside here is that he’s only under contract for one last year, but $14 could really be spent much better elsewhere when you spend $70 on MacKinnon. Hot Take:The kids are alright. But only alright. They take a step forward and make the Hawks relevant but not good enough to make a splash. I would liken it to a burger from McDonald's. Yeah, it's good, you're satisfied, it's better than most burgers...but in the back of your head there's better burgers out there that make the McDonald's burger seem like a hot shoe on a bun. ...I should make dinner. Zdeno Chara Award: Alexander Edler at 34 is the elder statesman of this team. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…The Goofy Movie, which deserves multiple gifs…
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 11, 2021 9:44:56 GMT -5
Tampa Bay ThunderFA Additions: John Tavares, Nick Foligno, David Pastrnak, Jeff Petry, Mattias Ekholm, Jacob Markstrom, Blake Coleman Draft Additions: Alexander Khovanov, Cole Perfetti, Julien Gauthier This is quite the FA haul for a rookie GM in the DHL. Tavares, Pastrnak and Markstrom are a fine trio of players to land and there is no reason to think that they won’t make an immediate impact on the newly minted Thunder. The prospects, I will admit that aside from Perfetti who should be pretty good, I don’t know anything about - but Tampa inherited a well stocked cupboard after several years of...uh...let’s call it neglect. Why Tampa will be the champs: I have long been scared of what this team would be with someone who cares at the helm. Now, assuming Mikey-Fresh here is going to, at the very least, set his lines on a weekly basis, this team should be one to watch out for. Why you might want Tampa’s first round pick: In case it isn’t ‘slap you in the face like a fart the morning after too many shots and 2-for-1 Taco Bell Dorito Locos tacos’ clear, I am of the belief that goalies are the key to success. With Bishop probably out, Fleury splitting time and Markstrom having to face a murderers row of snipers all season, I worry that Ullmark won’t be up to snuff to be able to keep this team afloat. Player I love: Cale Makar - I absolutely love this kid. He’s hot fire. He’s Tyson Barrie circa 2018 but better. The fact that he could just trip over the puck and have anyone on the top 6 of the Avalanche take the puck and get him 50 points is one thing, but he’s capable of doing that himself. Add Natty MacK, Mikko, Dandy-Landy, and Nazem the Dream into that mix and Makar is lethal. Love him. Also, if you’re in any other fantasy league and need a good team name - Dude, Where’s Makar?. You’re welcome. Player I hate: David Pastrnak - This is fully a jealousy thing. So, take it as you will. This guy, with his stupid charming ‘ahh, I’m so adorably Czech and so everything I say is just so charming’ attitude and his ‘ahh, I’m going to play the Leafs and get four goals with half a leg’ skill, and his ‘ahh, let’s just have Sedin like telepathy with a rat and a robot all the time’ ...skill. I hate him cause I ain’t him. That’s all. Hot Take:The Thunder go the way of the Lightning and win it all. Mikey rides the wave of new energy all the way to a championship. The goalies will be average, but that will be enough to ride the short season right into the playoffs. When the playoffs hit, all his opponents will underestimate him and Mikey will use that to swipe victory out of their hands. So, please take warning here DHL GMs. The Thunder are for real! ...or maybe they aren’t, what do I know? Zdeno Chara Award: Marc-Andre Fleury, the Top Goaltender and tournament MVP of the 2003 IIHF World Junior Championships is now 36, but will he ever get over that 3 goal period against the USA in tournament final of 2004 that cost his team the gold medal? If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Moana
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 11, 2021 9:46:29 GMT -5
Vegas Aces WildFA Additions: Jamie Benn, Andre Burakovsky, Josh Anderson, Brendan Dillon, Jonathan Drouin Draft Additions: Liam Foudy, Joel Hofer Now, I’m pretty confident that Vegas made a pile of blockbuster trades before the acquisition season started in the DHL, so that’s likely the reason for such a sparse list up there, but it’s definitely weird to see. Bringing back ol’ faithful Jaimie Benn had to be high on the Aces Wild’s to-do list and if he plays like Bubble Jamie, $7 is going to be a nice little bargain (hell of a pay-cut from the $50+ contract he was coming off of though). I’m not crazy about anyone, but I do think that Anderson has the potential to do good things in Montreal. Why Vegas will be the champs: Two seasons removed from a near undefeated campaign followed by an ill-advised dismantling of their team, Vegas is still putting the pieces together so going deep will be tough. That said - Tony’s deep EL pool could turn it on at any point. Combine that with McDavid, Hedman, Scheifele, and Malkin and even if they don’t hit this team is still very, very good. Why you might want Vegas’s first round pick: There is not a lot of depth on the wing in Vegas. Looking up and down the roster I have a hard time picking out a player that I would peg as their number one winger, but not in the good way. That and goalies (shocker I know). It’s hard to bet against the 4 guys the Aces Wild have, but it’s also hard to follow them confidently into the battle that this NHL season will be. Player I love: Josh Anderson - Assuming this guy is healthy I love his game. He can score and he’s mean. I think that he's exactly the kind of player that Montreal needed and assuming all goes well, I think he’ll be like Milan Lucic back when he was good and in Boston. Player I hate: Tristan Jarry - I hate that he’s succeeding. I liked Fleury in Pittsburgh. Then he got ousted by Murray, who got ousted by Jarry and through all that, the Pens are still good (not great, but good). That makes me mad. I want them to rue the day they moved on from Fleury and his infectious smile and personality. RUE THE DAY DAMMIT. Hot Take:Currently, Tony has two draft picks deferred and two open spots. He’s also got a whopping $88 left in salary for the year. My hot take is that he uses all 88 of those dollars by the end of the year. How will he do this? Trades. Lot’s of them and for high profile guys. He will have his pick of whomever is available and he will create a super team. Mark my words, DHL. The super team is coming. Zdeno Chara Award: Entering the year 65th all-time in points, Evgeni Malkin is now 34 years young. He’ll have to have at least a few more productive seasons to crack the top 50 overall, but of all the players who have played with just one NHL franchise, he ranks an impressive 12th. If this team were a Disney movie, it would be…Tangled
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Post by Morweena Reimnoceri on Jan 11, 2021 9:50:27 GMT -5
There you have it folks. I wish all of you the very best over the next few months - stay safe, stay healthy and most of all stay the hell outta my way on the way to the top! Good luck to those of use still wrapping up last year's season, again, mostly just to me and anyone I'm not facing currently (sorry Tim). I will reboot the week in review after the first matchup is complete. I am also going to be bringing back the mailbag, so if you have questions pop into your brains mid-week, fire em over. If you want my take on something, fire it over. Here's to a surely crazy year in the N/DHL. Now...
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Post by Tampa Bay Thunder on Jan 12, 2021 15:51:11 GMT -5
I like how the best thing I have going for me is that I'll push a button to set my lines. I'm not going to let you guys down, I promise. Unless I have a really busy week or something.
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